Pre-marital counseling

One of the key things we learned during premaritial counseling is the concept for humbleness and forgiveness. Seeking forgiveness is different from saying, "I'm sorry". Being sorry is a feeling. Forgivness is a transaction. When we wrong each other, it is important to humble ourselves and seek the other person's forgiveness.

Two other concepts are also closely related to the first - the concept of mutual submission and seeking joy in the other person's joy.

Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Philippians also 2:3-4: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

We have the entire idea of mutual submission and looking out for the other person's interest. Submission does not mean that we are weaker than the other person, rather it is voluntary act. Philipians says, Christ, even though he was equal with God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but humbled himself. Humbleness is a pre-requisite to be able to submit and seek the other person's interest. If we are both looking out for the other person's interest, then it should be easily to submit to each other.

John Piper in his book, Desiring God, also discusses the concept of seeking joy in the other person's joy. I will do what makes my spouse happy/joyful, because I am joyful because they are joyful. This is a very practical application of seeking the other person's interest.

Putting God First

During the sermon today, our pastor asked us, "How has God changed you? What has God been teaching you?"

Initially, nothing was coming to mind. It seemed to me that I was so busy with the things of the world, that I didn't have time to listen to God. I had no idea what God wanted to teach me or how He wanted to mold my character.

It wasn't until later in the week, I reflected upon what God has been teaching me. It seemed like for the past several weeks, I was just busy … busy with work, busy with wedding preparations, and barely squeaking by with enough sleep so that I wouldn't get sick.

It was during that time that I was feeling dry … spiritually dry. I was not at peace and was worrying about a multitude of things. At this time God reminded me of what he has been teaching me: to seek first the kingdom of God, to put God at the center of my life and marriage.

Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

After this re-prioritization, God's peace, the peace that transcends all understanding once again guarded my heart and mind.