Spheres of Intimacy

Intimacy can be experience in many different forms - emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, vocational intimacy (shared work), intellectual intimacy, recreational intimacy (shared delight in play), creative intimacy (shared experiences in creating something), aesthetic intimacy (shared enjoyment of beauty), and social justic intimacy (working together to make the world a better place)

The deepest spiritual friendships are based on ever-increasing spheres of intimacy.  This is most crucial in marriage, where it is easy to be intimate with one's spouse in one or two dimensions, but outsource intimacy in other areas to friends.  (Benner, Sacred Companions, pg 72-73).

Learning to Love

My first response to the limitations of my love is always the same - to try harder.  I pray for love with more fervor.  And I try to love with more diligence.  But nothing seems to change.  Then I recall once again I have got it all backwards.  God doesn't want me to try to become more loving.  He wants me to absorb his love so that it flows out of me.  And so I return again to knowing myself as deeply loved by God.  I mediate on his love, allowing my focus to be on him and his love for me, not me and my love for him.  And slowly things begin to change.  My heart slowly begins to warm and soften.  I begin to experience new levels of love for God.  And slowly, almost imperceptibly, I begin to see others through God's eyes of love.  I begin to experience God's love for others.  Sacred Companions - David Benner